I chose your pain
by GhostInThePhoto
Summary: Klaus actions cost Caroline her peace of mind and her sanity.
1. Prologue: You won t call my name

_Tear out a heart, and I promise you nothing will put it back in its place._

He made his way smoothly and gravely down to the cellar. He hated going there more than anything, wishing that he could alter that particular aspect of the arrangement and move it up to one of the more comfortable rooms upstairs. But upstairs was not safe enough.

_Take a drop of blood from an innocent, and more innocent blood will flow._

He clutched the blood bag in his hand and his gaze grew stern as he made his way towards the door. Sometimes he wondered why he came back every night, when he had the choice of leaving everything, including the mansion and her, behind. The answer was not the problem, but accepting it had in all this time not come easy to him.

_Enslave a free spirit, and pray that you can bear the responsibility._

Upon unlocking the door, he wondered whom he´d be dealing with right now. He had developed a few preferences over the past months, but deep down, there was really only one person he always hoped to find. Some nights, she was even there. Those nights were the worst.

_Hunt down every one you fear, and wait for the retaliation._

She was sitting on the comfortable single bed, arms wrapped around her legs, staring into the nothingness the room offered. He had tried to make it comfortable, turning a storage room in a cellar into an inhabitable abode had not been an easy task, but he was at ease knowing that he had done a decent job. Supplying her with a closet with various clothes, matching all her oh so many personalities. He´d been hesitant about the mirror, but so far, she had not smashed it into pieces. There even was a bathroom . The only thing he had felt forced to leave out was a window. That he had to replace with a lock on the door instead. Keeping her safe was the cruelest thing he had ever done to her.

_Can you reassemble a thousand pieces created by your wreckage?_

Her posture gave him no clue, it ruled out a few possibilities, but not enough to put him on anything more but thin ice that he had to tread upon in order to make conversation. The eyes were brooding in a familiar way, but all the other features told a different story. Her shoulders were defiantly stiff, like she had the power to vanquish him, even if it may cost her life in the process. Her blond curls and her blue eyes, were the only thing about her, he was certain of. Had been for quite some time.

Yet, he had to try again tonight.

"I got brought you some blood, love." he said gently, putting the blood on the night stand next to the bed she was sitting on, then he sat down next to her. He knew she´d react, he just did not know to whose bidding. He had counted all the names in his head, ruling out a few. The quiet ones always kept him guessing. For no matter how annoying they all had been to him before, in real life, he now realized just how calm they had all stayed throughout all the pain he had caused them. He guessed, that Damon, Katherine, Stefan and Kol had just been distracting him too much, to make him notice, how many of them had really been there. Surrounding her, loving or hating , influencing her. For now, he knew all of their names.

She stayed quiet for a few moments, gazing at the blood. Finally she said quietly: "Take it away please." That narrowed it down to two possibilities.

"Love, I am afraid, I can´t." he said, stroking her hair.

He knew who it was, the second she looked up at him, panic filling her eyes, while she tried to speak calmly. "Please, just leave."

Deep down, he knew that leaving her would have been the more merciful approach, but staying was the only way of getting closer to helping her. Suddenly she tried to jump off the bed and in the direction of the door. He may not be worried about catching her, should she ever get out, but he needed her to face the blood. She needed to face him. In a flash, he had his arms wrapped around her, holding her in place and forcing her to look at the blood bag. "Fight him" he whispered. "I can´." she cried.

"Of course you can. You need t live." He held her even tighter, for what seemed like hours. Not releasing her until he felt her breath calming and her struggle ceasing.

"Please," she cried. "He won´t like it"

_No, he won´t_ Klaus thought sadly but she needed to eat. Sensing her defeat, he let go, watching alertly as she reached for the bag. She gulped it all down hungrily, quietly crying an _" I am sorry"_ to an invisible judge. Then she looked up at Klaus in shame, which quickly turned into terror. The consequences followed faster than Klaus had anticipated. Suddenly she yelled out in pain, and Klaus watched in worry as she fell to the ground, trying frantically to shield herself from imaginary sunlight and the nightmare sensation of her skin burning. Once again he wrapped her in his arms, sitting on the cold floor with her, and whispered whatever soothing words he would be able to come up with. None of which would or will ever be enough, he knew. The pain came and went and came back, with her growing weaker and more desperate at every cry. Eventually it stopped. "Help me." she whispered. "Fix me."

They stayed that way until she had drifted into what Klaus could only hope would be a dreamless sleep. He hated it, when her father came back. Technically he hated them all, when they invaded her mind, taunting her into madness and taking away her free will, but Bill had one advantage over them all. Klaus had never officially met him, only heard of him, and sometimes, when Caroline cried out more than usual, he had truly no idea what that memory inside her was capable of.

As he watched Caroline recover from the constant against the voices of everyone she had ever been affected by in her head, he felt a wave of guilt and self-loathing come over him. Remembering how he had broken the only person he had ever meant to protect, he picked her off the floor and tugged her into her bed.

"One day you´ll be free again. I promise." But he could whisper every sweet promise he could think off, until he found a way, nothing would ever make her feel happy or safe again. He hasn´t stopped feeling guilty about that ever since the day he had put her into her misery, he surmised, while gently caressing her cheek.

She could have been happy, if only back then he would have let her.


	2. Chapter 2

_Surrender your everything, and I can assure you it´ll never be enough._

As he made his way back to her room, he wondered if he would ever be able to keep his promise of reversing the damage he had done. Her friends kept on trying to visit her, but he could not let them near her. She´d do things she´d be paying for until the end of her eternal days otherwise. Rebekah had called him and asked him to leave with her. He had hung up on her.

_You might escape your fears, but what about all those other demons?_

As he opened the door, he saw her standing at the mirror, smiling at her own reflection. Ultimately, there was only one of them ever doing that.

"Hi. You missed me?" she asked in a seductive voice. And he had... only it was not her this time.

"I got you dinner." he responded casually, placing the blood bag onto her nightstand. "How thoughtful, you really know how to keep a prisoner interested." she said, picking up the bag and drinking from it, while seductively walking towards her bed.

"So... what is your big bad plan for tonight. Want to discuss my hopes and my dreams again?" Klaus´ eyes darkened.

"I mean, I´d ask about your hopes and dreams, but since you already got your little boy toy hybrid army and your family is all out of their coffins, ... that just leaves... me... right?" She smirked at him.

"So... how you´re going to get me back?"

He had no idea.

"Well, you see, I think I´ll just leave you to yourself, you´re not worth my time."

"And pass up on the chance to have me?" She shook her golden hair out of her pony tail. "Please. You know I am the only one that´ll let you." That for one was true, for the others had different ideas of torture.

" I might not be myself right now, but I still look the part. And that´s what got us into this whole mess, right? You wanting me for yourself?. So how about you be a good alpha male and show a really lonely, and frustrated girl an amazing time." She leaned back onto her bed, waiting for him to approach her.

He had promised himself that should Katherine return, he would not fall into her trap again. He could not do that to Caroline.

" Come on. I don´t bite." She teased. With a heavy sigh, that hid his body´s cravings, he moved towards the door.

"Klaus?" she called after him. He knew that tone. It meant she thought she had yet another ace up her sleeve. As he turned, he heard say : "I just remembered that I hate you." With that, she violently scratched against her own cheek until it drew blood, moving her hands towards her arms. "Good thing, I just know how to hurt you."

In a flash, Klaus was by her side, grabbing her pale wrists. "Stop it."

"How about you make me?" she whispered. Leaving him no choice, but to comply. He crushed his lips onto hers and pushed her onto the bed, feeling her smirk against his face. Their clothes were gone in a flash. He was once more falling into her trap. He felt her touch against his skin, so unlike her. Her touch was loving, craving. This was pure viciousness. Even her moans were all wrong. But he knew she would have seriously done harm to her body, if he had not complied. And she knew, he craved for Caroline. It was poisonous. All of it.

_He woke up with Caroline cuddled against him. The sun was illuminating his room, and her smile was radiant. She positioned her body on top of his and whispered a soft "Good morning" into his ear, causing him to smile. All of yesterday had been forgotten. Everything that had separated them was now in the past. He knew he had played it beyond dirty, and if she ever learned the truth, she´d hate him. Not that she ever would. He would spend a lifetime making her happy, he would forgive himself for that. In that moment, he had believed all of that. As he gently took her body in the morning sun. As her sweet kisses trailed down his chest. As their hands intertwined. As their bodies were so close that no air fitted in-between. He finally had her light all to himself. And he loved every second of it. It was finally him, in his body, with no one else to take her from him. It was bliss._

_He could pinpoint to the very moment that it all fell apart. She had been kissing him lovingly once second. Then she had paused, eyes closed and suddenly the smile on her lips turned into a smirk. He should have known something was wrong, but he hadn´t. Suddenly she was straddling him, kissing hi ferociously, taking him, grinding him. It was shamefully animalistic, appealing to his darkest senses. It was enough for him to hate himself later, after he had realized what been happening to his sweet Caroline during all of it. He should have known it was not her loving his body anymore. But he didn´t. _

_When they had both climaxed uncountable times, she pecked his lips, smiling, but something about it had seemed cold. He watched her getting up, mesmerized by this apparently new, animalistic side to her but confused by the apparent distance between them. After wrapping herself in a silver bathrobe, she walked towards his desk, and sat herself on it._

_"So, Klaus. I was just wondering. What was it you told me to do for you?" she asked, casually playing with his letter opener._

_"I don´t know what you´re referring to, love." He answered, still smiling. _

_"Wrong answer." With that, she plunged the letter opener into her thigh._

They had at it for hours, her being insatiable. Him hating every minute of it, while craving her body all the more. After they were done, covered in sweat and exhausted beyond relief, she laughed. "Well, that was quite the ride. How could I ever repay you?"

He knew where this was going, but he just had to try to escape the inevitable confrontation. "I think letting me retire in peace will be reward enough."

"No... I am more generous than that. I think I´ll grant you a moment of joy with the love of your life. Goodbye. Love." With that she closed her eyes, and before he could even think about flashing himself out of the room, Caroline was back. He could see it in her eyes, that she was back.

"Klaus..." her eyes were filled with panic. The panic he was sure he had experience all along, while Katherine had been in the driver´s seat. The panic that came with your body being run by a personality that is not you while all you can do is watch. It was like rape. He knew, she could have felt everything he had done to her body, even when it was Katherine forcing him into it. Just like she could have felt the pain inflicted onto her body earlier. Katherine only let her talk to him as herself, so he´d see the abuse in her features. The broken person he had created. It was part of his punishment.

"Go. Please." she sobbed, wrapping the sheets tightly around her exposed body. He wanted to sooth her, tell her it´ll be okay, but once again, it was not okay. None of it was. In vampire speed he grabbed his clothes and left the room, locking the door behind him. As she sat down on the floor next to it, all he could hear were her sobs. Her wordless pleas for a quick death that he was not ready to grant her yet. A yearning for a way out that he had not found yet. A guilt he would always carry.


End file.
